“Who Am I, Really?” — Navigating Identity in a World of Possibilities
By Amira El-Akkad, Psychotherapist
Feeling lost doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.
It might just mean you’re in the middle of something very human: becoming yourself.
Maybe you’re switching interests constantly, second-guessing your choices, or feeling like a different person depending on who you’re with. Maybe you’re tired of everyone asking you where your life is headed when you’re not even sure how you feel about today.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not broken — you’re going through a stage that most people hit at some point. It’s called figuring out who you are, and it can be messy, frustrating, and powerful all at once.
The Pressure to “Be Someone”
In your twenties, it feels like everyone expects you to have a plan — to know your purpose, your career, your style, your label, your vibe. But what if you’re still figuring all that out?
Truth is, you’re not supposed to have it all locked in.
You’re meant to explore.
Try things on.
Change your mind.
That’s not confusion — that’s growth.
But What If You Feel Like You’re Floating?
That floating feeling — not quite sure who you are or where you belong — is incredibly common. It might show up as:
- Saying “yes” to things you’re not sure you want
- Feeling like you’re acting instead of being real
- Changing your goals weekly and then judging yourself for it
- Feeling like everyone else has it figured out but you missed the memo
You’re not alone. And despite what social media says, no one really has it all figured out. Most people are just performing confidence while feeling just as uncertain underneath.
You Are Allowed to Take Your Time
Becoming yourself isn’t a checklist. It’s a process.
Here’s what that process might look like:
- Getting curious about what actually matters to you (not just what sounds impressive)
- Noticing what feels energizing vs. draining
- Saying no to roles or labels that don’t fit, even if they used to
- Learning to sit with the unknown without panicking
And slowly — without forcing it — you start recognizing your own voice in the noise.
What Gets in the Way
Sometimes the confusion gets heavier. If you’re feeling totally disconnected, chronically unsure, or like you’ve lost touch with who you are, it might be deeper than just “growing pains.”
You might be carrying:
- Old pressure to be someone you’re not
- Trauma that interrupted your ability to feel safe being you
- Family or cultural expectations that don’t match your truth
- Fear of judgment or rejection for exploring who you really are
This is where therapy can help. Not to tell you who to be — but to make space for you to find
out.
You Don’t Have to Perform — You Get to Become
The world wants quick answers. But you’re allowed to ask questions.
You’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to outgrow versions of yourself and build new ones.
You’re allowed to be unfinished.
Final Thought: You’re Not Behind
Just because someone else looks like they’ve “figured it out” doesn’t mean they actually have —
and it doesn’t mean you’re late.
You’re not late.
You’re becoming.